I need to let go

Have mercy on me, oh God
According to your unfailing love
According to your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions
Have mercy on me, oh God
According to your unfailing love
According to your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions

Would you create in me a clean heart, oh God?
Restore in me the joy of your salvation
Would you create in me a clean heart, oh God?
Restore in me the joy of your salvation

The sacrifices of our God
Are broken in a contrite heart
Against you and you alone
Have I sinned?
The sacrifices of our God
Are broken in a contrite heart
Against you and you alone
Have I sinned?

Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole
Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole
Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole
Wash me white as snow


This song was playing after I dropped off one of my best friends at the airport, maybe to not see her for a very long time. That isn't the point though, the point was that the car was quiet at that moment so I could hear the words to this song.
I need joy, I no longer know what true happiness feels like because I have been stuck in this rut for so long. Ive become numb to everything and I don't have anywhere else to turn anymore.
I need to quit my selfishness and give it all to God. Why can't I let go?

The pain she feels every day she hides behind. She feels that nobody understands her and that she's alone in her battle. She's a leader to her friends and doesn't want to show her weakness, because she feels that they'll judge her. She feels that she can't tell anyone about her struggle. Little does she know that everyone around her is broken too. All she needs to do is be honest, because maybe honesty is all they need. - Joe Pedersen

Sleep is her safe place.
While the trees outside
dance this waltz with the wind,
she is safe.
I wait in the silence
only wondering how long
it will be until I can
speak; how long until I can sleep.
She is beautiful and smart
but all she can see is a
distorted image of a broken girl.
I will love her.
I have hope for healing.
As I wait, there is nothing I
can do except pray. I do so
humbly, sharing my heart
with God, as well as showing
Him my brokenness and
thoughts of how she and I can heal
together. I tell her the pain is
only temporary, but her story
will carry on to help many people.
"Look ahead," I tell her,
"We will be the hopeful for
the next generation."
-Amanda Kay